This phrase gets thrown around so much these days. If it isn’t a meme, it’s somebody’s Motivational Monday quote but what exactly does it mean? So worth is related to value right and when we talk about valuing yourself this links back to your own self-esteem. If you have high self-esteem then you have high self worth right? That’s where it all gets so confusing.
Let’s use me as an example. I have good self confidence, I am happy in my body and I am confident i myself. But when it comes to self-worth, I don’t always view myself as being all good and worthy of anybody in relationships and this is where it all goes wrong. Understanding your own self-worth means not attaching your own worth to what a guy would think of you. Why do we struggle so much with this? We see ourselves as being in the wrong, that if someone isn’t interested in us then it must be personal. We hold onto the destructive thoughts that it’s completely personal – not that you just weren’t compatible. Why do we take a misinterpretation or ambiguity of feelings so personal?
I am guilty of this. Previous relationships have put me in a position where I don’t feel worthy. Even though I’m happy in my own body and with my appearance I struggle to see past the mistakes of previous relationships. It’s hard to accept the past, that your worth was so little to someone that they had to go out and seek someone else, multiple people. But this is not the case! Their actions do not define your worth, you are worth everything. Not everybody is romantically compatible and it’s not your fault. It was never your appearance or your annoying habits that made them stray. It’s their immaturity to have a relationship, that they aren’t ready for someone like you or simply that you’re just not compatible.
You are worth everything. You can not devalue yourself because of other people’s decisions towards you – it doesn’t make you bad, it just means you don’t match. It doesn’t mean your worth anything less, it was never your problem and it never will be. In order to move on from the past we have to first accept it and take it for what it was. Yes crappy things do happen to good people – but these things do not define you. If anything use it as a learning curve, take the knowledge and learn from mistakes made. Learn that you can get over it, it was never your fault and that you are 100% worthy of anything you desire.
Moving on from the past I’m learning and the thing I’ve learnt most is the importance of detaching your worth from their actions. Their actions do not define you – they define themselves. They are not your decisions, not your actions and you need to realise that yeah so many guys stray due to their own low self-esteem – they feel the needed to be adored and wanted by many. Some guys just want to feed their huge ego. But always, always remember you cannot view your worth on somebody else’s actions. When you know that worth, you’ll be able to detach them feelings and walk away when something falls short. You’ll have the confidence in yourself to know when to stop, to know when actually you’re worth more than what you’re getting. That in fact, you shouldn’t have to tell them not to do something or what they need to do more of because actually, they should already know that you deserve much better. You’re worth far more and once you’ve realised your worth, keep it as high as the stars.